Communication in marriage

Shayne and I have started a “strengthening your marriage “class that our Ward has put together. The class had some tremendous information on communication between a husband and a wife. I wanted to share with you some information that we learned that I feel helps a lot in a marriage.
Communication in marriage includes every thought, feeling, act or desire shared verbally and nonverbally between a husband and a wife. Good communication is a manifestation of love. Good communication fosters mutual understanding and respect, reduces conflict, and increases love, unlocking the doors to the highest levels of human intimacy. Every married couple can learn to communicate skillfully.
The magic ratio is 5 to 1. When optimistic feelings and interactions occur 5 times more often then negative interactions and feelings the marriage is likely to be stable.
Skillful communication involves taking risks. When husbands and wives open the channels of communication, they begin to feel safer in sharing sensitive feelings they were afraid to talk about before. Differences may surface; conflicts may arise. The resulting pain, however, is usually temporary. Relationship wounds begin to heal when couples are able to understand and accept each others feelings.
Individuals find it complicated to communicate positively if they have pessimistic thoughts about their spouse. Negative thoughts are frequently distorted – the individual might magnify (their own) personal strengths while focusing on the weaknesses of his or her spouse. You can begin to correct any distorted thoughts you might have by challenging your thoughts – looking for evidence that they are imprecise, viewing objectionable behavior in a different light, and considering that the spouse may have good intensions for his or her actions. You can also pray that the Lord will help you observe your spouse as He sees them.
Some people behave as if the believe their spouse should think and act as the do. As couples identify, accept, and appreciate their differences, they will be more understanding and responsive to each other’s needs and ways of doing things… A difference of communicating or a different way of responding to a picky situation can become strength in a marriage relationship.